


Never Forget this Feeling

by vogue91



Category: Kamen Rider Den-O
Genre: Anal Sex, Denial of Feelings, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 04:37:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Ryoutaro doesn't want to forget.





	Never Forget this Feeling

Ryoutaro didn’t feeel at ease.

Since Yuuto had disappeared, he had kept thinking incessantly to what was going to be of him in the future, and he had grown tired of that obsession, of which he couldn’t even understand the reason.

And he couldn’t even understand his relief when time had taken his normal course back, when he had gotten back, when all of them had suddenly remembered of his existence.

The thought that something like that could happen again was horrifying, that they could forget him once again, Yuuto, along with those who had already forgotten about Sakurai.

He brushed his face a few times, as if like that he could’ve avoided that kind of thoughts.

He didn’t want to. Of all he had had to store in his mind those past months, of all the hundreds of informations he had been given and that he had had to learn to live to, this he couldn’t accept.

He looked at Airi, he saw the sadness in her eyes and he told himself that this was his problem.

Airi was like that for having forgotten about Sakurai, and by keeping on turning Yuuto was going to lose his existence, leaving behind a trail of people with the same look his sister had, and ending up completely alone.

The mere thought made him feel a sharp pain in his chest.

He got off the DenLiner, barely saying goodbye to the others, and walked to the Milk Dipper.

He was a few metres away from it, when he heard a voice calling him.

He turned slowly, because he had recognised that, and it was likely the last person in the world he wanted to talk to right now.

Yuuto was leaning against a wall, far from the café’s entrance, his arms crossed and the look of who had been waiting for his return.

Ryoutaro got closer, not feeling like it at all, and stopped a few steps from him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I was waiting for you. Deneb and I have gotten here a little earlier than you. I’ve left that idiot spring cleaning the ZeroLiner. Or some of the pansy stuff he does on that train.” he said, with the usual grimace that went with all the tales about the questionable activities of the Imajin.

The younger one couldn’t hold back a smile seeing that look.

“Was there something you wanted to ask me?” he said then, serious again.

Yuuto sighed, nodding. He looked around, then, and looked at the Milk Dipper.

“Can we go in?” he asked, and reluctantly Ryoutaro nodded, letting the other follow him inside.

He took two chairs down from a table, he politely asked if he wanted something to drink, and when Yuuto declined he sat in front of him, waiting.

“You don’t have to worry anymore.” the elder said, after a few seconds. “With these new cards, there’s no problem. I can turn into Zeronos and fight. We don’t risk anymore that I disappear, Kai can’t...”

“Stop it!” Ryoutaro burst out, and from the confused look on the other’s face he realized it was likely the first time he raised his voice with him.

He tried to cool down.

If he had screamed Airi would’ve come to see what was going on, and the situation would’ve gotten worse.

“Why do you always have to think about the Imajins and fighting them and whatever Sakurai-san told you? Why can’t you try to think about yourself for once, and to what happens every time you turn into Zeronos? Don’t you think about what it would mean if everybody were to forget about your existence? I’ve seen it, Yuuto. I’ve seen Deneb on the DenLiner as if it was his home, and no one remembering your name. If it truly was to happen I...”

“You what?” the elder interrupted him, suddenly cold. “Do you truly believe the problem is yours, Nogami?” he hissed. “Do you really believe I don’t think about it every single time I turn that sooner or later no one is going to remember me? It’s something to which I’ve surrendered a long time ago. It’s what I have to do if I want all of this to end. It’s what my future self has had to do to protect those he loves, and there’s no price to be put on something like that.” he smiled, sarcastic. “And anyway, there’s you and Hana, right? This means not everyone is going to forget about me.”

Ryoutaro lowered his eyes, chewing on his lips out of nervousness.

“You can’t know that.” he murmured. “You can’t know what would happen if you kept turning. What if Hana forgets about you as well? And what if I did?” he sighed. “I’ve seen them losing their memory and then remember all of a sudden, but you can’t really hope that every time there will be something to save you from oblivion, Yuuto. And I...” he blinked, keeping his eyes closed for longer than necessary. “I don’t want to forget.”

He saw the elder staring at his face as if he was trying to understand what he wasn’t telling and what was hiding behind that request, and Ryoutaro felt completely cornered.

He had never been too good at lying or keeping something hidden.

He didn’t know either, anyway, what he wasn’t saying. He understood the reason of his discomfort while he kept talking to him, while in his mind grew the anxiety that he could actually forget him, and forget those months they had spent fighting side by side, slowly discovering how much he liked the elder, against all odds.

In the end, Yuto held out a hand, awkwardly, resting it on his.

“I have to fight for you as well, Ryoutaro.” he told him, calmer than usual. “The Imajin are growing stronger and in the past you’re losing touch with Momotaro and the others. If something was to happen to you it would be my fault, can you understand that?”

Ryoutaro was surprised. He didn’t know if it was for what he had said or for the fact that it was the first time he had called him by his first name, but he felt like never before in front of him.

There was a reason why he was scared, there was a reason why he didn’t want him to get hurt and leave his own existence to fall into oblivion.

“Yuuto...” he murmured, standing up and seeing the other do the same.

And then he couldn’t tell what was happening, because he didn’t have time to reply to what he had been told, because the elder was kissing him.

He was letting him do it, and the idea wasn’t confusing him as he would’ve thought.

He was beautiful and he liked him, and he wished he was never going to stop.

He felt him brushing almost shyly his back, pulling his against himself and opening his lips to deepen the kiss, searching for his tongue, moaning low against his mouth when Ryoutaro brought his hands to his hips, caressing him instinctively.

“Yu-Yuuto, what...” he could only say when they parted, embarrassed.

“I don’t know. I don’t know Ryoutaro, but I...” he sighed, trying to buy himself some time. “I understand what my future self feels. He’s protected Airi letting her forget him, and for him I think that it’s been the utmost sacrifice. And the fact that now I want to protect you...” he sighed, blushing, and Ryoutaro understood what he was trying to say anyway.

“I understand. Really. But just like you want to protect me, I can’t help but being worried for what would happen if one day I...” Yuuto didn’t give him time to finish his thought, and Ryoutaro knew he didn’t want to hear it again.

He kissed him again, harder than before, slipping with his hands under his shirt and searching for his naked skin, smiling against his lips when he heard him moan at the contact with his fingers.

Ryoutaro pulled back once again, pointing at his room, backing off toward it while Yuuto followed him, still kissing him.

They closed the door behind their back, and the younger one fell back onto the bed, looking at him with a mix of apprehension and expectation; Yuuto joined him, making room between his legs and leaning over, kissing him again and again.

He felt him start to free him from his clothes, and it was just then that his mind realized what was actually happening.

While Yuuto undressed himself, Ryoutaro propped himself up on his elbows, swallowing and trying to catch his breath.

“W-wait, I...” he stuttered. “Well, I don’t exactly know what Urataro’s done when he’s gone around in my body, but aside from that I have never... well, you get it.” he said, confusedly, and the elder couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but somehow I suspected that.” he mocked him, kissing his lips to shut up any other rant from him.

He went then with his mouth on his throat, down to the collarbones and chest, while his hand brushed his cock, more delicate than Ryoutaro would’ve thought, managing easily to turn him on.

Ryoutaro wished he would’ve stopped, giving him time to elaborate what was going on, but at the same time he wanted him to keep touching him that way, making him moan, making him feel exactly that way, because never before he had felt something like this, and he had never thought that Yuuto could be the one to do it.

He clenched his eyes, embarrassed, when Yuuto let one finger slip inside of him to start preparing him, bringing a hand over his mouth to hold back any kind of sound.

It would’ve definitely been a problem explaining this to Airi if she had found them like this.

He tried to focus on Yuuto’s fingers moving skilfully inside of him, and on his tongue and his mouth trying to distract him from the intrusion, and he was so take by it that he couldn’t help but groan when the feeling disappeared, leaving behind a complete sense of emptiness.

Yuuto got back on top of him, taking his hip in one hand and pushing against him, letting him feel his cock, looking straight in his eyes as if to ask if this was what he truly wanted.

And Ryoutaro nodded, and pushed his hips against the elder’s, feeling him starting to get inside; because, even if he hadn’t wanted that, his body now needed it, and it wasn’t going to allow him to stop from getting what, he had found out, he wanted for a long time.

He felt a sharp pain invading him, and clawed Yuuto’s arms, trying in any way to distract himself and think about something that wasn’t how much it hurt, breathing deeply and barely managing not to cry.

Yuuto looked guilty, and Ryoutaro didn’t want him to feel that way. He raised his head, silently asking for a kiss and being satisfied straight away.

When he thought he could bear it he gestured him to start moving, and just then he managed to get over the pain and finding also the pleasant part of it, finding out how intense could be the feeling of having Yuuto inside, feeling him move, feeling his own body opening under his thrust and slowly forgetting anything that wasn’t him.

Before he could realize it he had started moaning, suffocating the louder noises against the elder’s neck, while he had brought a hand back to his cock, moving it fast and trying almost desperately to see him melt under his thrusts, and it actually didn’t take long for him to succeed.

Ryoutaro tilted his head back on the pillow, biting hard on his lip while he climaxed, the feeling of Yuuto inside of him heightened together with all the rest, and he kept his eyes closed until he felt him come as well, then he opened them and felt completely breathless, as if incapable of talking or moving, or doing anything that wasn’t staying there, under him, listening to his equally heavy breath in his ear.

But it lasted less than he had hoped, and Yuuto pulled away from him, delicately, laying down on the mattress next to him, sighing and turning to look at him.

Ryoutaro smiled shyly to him, covering himself with the blankets, suddenly ashamed of what had just happened; not to regret it, though.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” the elder said, getting back his usual tone. “I’ve done that just to leave a deeper impression of myself in your mind. I may not be as anxious as Deneb, but it can’t hurt trying it, right?”

The other one chuckled and shook his head, because he knew he wasn’t serious.

And yet, even in the joke, he was forced to see the bright side.

There was nothing in the world that could force him to forget Yuuto, now. Not his hands on him, not having him inside, not his mouth, not the desire he felt for him.

It didn’t matter what he would do, he was not going to forget him.

He saw him getting up and picking up his clothes, his eyes still on Ryoutaro.

He had up, grimacing.

“Are you leaving?”

Yuuto nodded, not really thrilled.

“I have to. First of all, Deneb would have a stroke if he couldn’t find me in the morning. Besides, I don’t think your sister would be too happy to come and call you for breakfast and finding you naked in bed with a man, am I wrong?” he chuckled, then leant on him and kissed his lips quickly, then he was at the door. He made as to go out, but then he seemed to change his mind and stopped, turning toward him again. “Ah, Nogami... could you do me a favour?”

“What?”

“Remember me.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and left.

Ryoutaro smiled, serene all of a sudden.

He was going to remember.

He was going to remember forever.


End file.
